Don't Come and Knock on Our Door
by PF4Eva
Summary: Three's Company and HalloweeN crossover. Expect an 8 Simple Rules one after this one's finished.
1. Jack Hears the News

I neither own the rights to Halloween, Three's Company, 8 Simple Rules......, nor Married with Children. They are owned by their respective owners. RIP John Ritter.  
  
_________________________________________________  
  
(The "Three's Company" opening credits play in the opening sequence.)  
  
INT. JACK, CRISSY, AND JANET'S APARTMENT, HADDONFIELD, IL, OCTOBER 31, 1978: It is 8:15 A.M. and Jack Tripper is cooking breakfast. Janet and Crissy are asleep. The doorbell rings.  
  
JACK: Just a minute!  
  
(Jack runs to the door and finds........)  
  
JACK: Oh, hey, Mr. Roper! (Smiling) How's it going?  
  
MR. ROPER: I just wanted to remind you that your rent is due today.....And also, it's Halloween, and, uhmm......some guy in a white mask escaped from a sanitarium out in Smith's Grove last night. He killed his sister in 1963, so you might want to be careful. He's wearing the whitest Captain Kirk mask and a mechanic's uniform, and possibly carrying a huge butcher knife. If you see him, call the police.  
  
JACK: Alright.  
  
MR. ROPER: Well, the wife is probably worried about me by now. I'd better get back home.  
  
JACK: See ya, Mr. Roper! (Smiling)  
  
(Laugh track)  
  
INT. HADDONFIELD HIGH SCHOOL, 9:30 A.M.: Laurie Strode is in her class and sees a man in a white mask outside of her classroom. Scary music plays in the background. She turns away thern looks back to see that the man has disappeared.  
  
INT. ROPER'S APARTMENT, 9:30 A.M.: Mr. Roper is reading the newspaper with the headline "MICHAEL MYERS RETURNS TO HADDONFIELD." Mrs. Roper is sitting on the couch next to him.  
  
MRS. ROPER: Are you sure this Myers guy is dangerous?  
  
MR. ROPER: Come on, Helen! This guy killed his older sister when he was six! And that was fifteen years ago! I believe this Loomis guy: Myers is pure EVIL!  
  
(The Ropers' doorbell rings. Mr. Roper jumps with fright. Laugh track.)  
  
MR. ROPER: Don't answer it!  
  
(Mrs. Roper opens the door and sees none other than.........) 


	2. Two Ropers, a Loomis, and a Maniac

(Doctor Samuel Loomis is standing in front of Mr. Roper.)  
  
LOOMIS: Hello. I'm Dr. Samuel Loomis. My patient, Michael Myers, escaped from the Smith's Grove/Warren County Sanitarium last night, and might be on a killing spree. I am trying to protect you from this EVIL.......  
  
MR. ROPER: Stanley Roper. You really think this Michael Myers guy is somewhere around thi apartment complex?  
  
LOOMIS: (Shouting) HE could be anywhere!! HE could be under your beds!! HE could be next door!! HE could be in your shower!! HE could be--!!  
  
MRS. ROPER: (Sick of hearing Loomis rant) We get it, Dr. Loomis! Just keep HIM away from this complex.  
  
LOOMIS: That is exactly what I'm trying to do, Mr. and Mrs. Roper!  
  
(Michael Myers is standing right behind Mr. Roper. HE attempts to stab him...)  
  
LOOMIS: (Shouting) Michael, no! Run for your lives, Ropers!!!!  
  
(The Ropers run away, but HE is following them. Mr. Roper stands right in front of HIM.)  
  
MRS. ROPER: You wouldn't kill a woman, now would you??!!  
  
He hasn't spoken a word in 15 years. (Makes disgusted faces, as if Michael Myers is killing Mrs. Roper) That's horrible!! Run for your life, Mr. Roper!!  
  
(Mr. Roper runs, but Michael makes a stabbing motion at him....)  
  
QUICKLY CUT TO: INT. JACK TRIPPER'S APARTMENT: Jack is getting the $20 he owes Mr. Roper for rent and walks to the door, but Dr. Loomis runs to the door right in front of Jack!!  
  
LOOMIS: Get away from Haddonfield!! Your apartment complex is in grave danger!! Michael Myers is coming to kill you all!!!  
  
(The front door is slammed and closed!! Janet and Crissy are awake and come out of the bedroom.)  
  
JANET: Hello, Jack! Who's this gentleman?  
  
LOOMIS: I...am Dr. Samuel Loomis. My patient, Michael Myers, is a dangerous killer who escaped from my sanitarium last night, and we must stop HIM.....before it's too late......  
  



	3. What happened in between 1963 and Hallow...

JACK: But, just who is this Michael Myers guy?  
  
LOOMIS: This isn't a guy!! Michael Myers is the EVILEST patient I have ever had the dishonor of keeping locked up for fifteen years. There is no time to explain who or what HE is; HE is following my very trail as we speak. HE just murdered the landlords, the Ropers!! It wasn't a pretty sight...... (Closes his eyes in disgust)  
  
JANET: What can we do to stop HIM?  
  
LOOMIS: Absolutely........nothing.........unless........(Makes a wide-eyed face)......  
  
AN HOUR LATER: Jack, Crissy, and Janet are reading lines from a script.  
  
JACK: (Unconvincing, shotuing) Hell-o....Jan-et....Strode!..My...name...is...Jack...Strode!...And...Who...is...your...friend...o-ver..there?  
  
CRISSY: (Unconvincing, shouting) My...name...is...Crissy...Strode!  
  
(The front door is being slashed down by Michael Myers. The Halloween theme plays in the background.)  
  
LOOMIS: (Shouting) Now!!  
  
(Jack, Janet, Crissy, and Loomis get out their guns and shoot HIM unconscious. Music stops.)  
  
JACK: Is HE?  
  
LOOMIS: HE never dies.......and I'm pretty sure who HE is after next......  
  
(Cut to various scenes from Halloween 1 with Laurie and Myers. Cut back to Jack's apartment. Michael has disappeared. The Halloween theme plays yet again. Loomis runs off.....)  
  
TO BE CONTINUED IN A HALLOWEEN/8 SIMPLE RULES CROSSOVER....... 


End file.
